


Be With Me (Please)

by LiveLove_Larry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oral Sex, Self-Harm, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 09:43:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10357560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLove_Larry/pseuds/LiveLove_Larry
Summary: Louis and Harry rarely talk about their friendship anymore, or lack thereof. In fact, they rarely speak at all. The morning after Louis performs on The X Factor, Louis needs comfort. Harry is there.Is it too late for them to start over?





	1. Prologue

Louis is used to feeling adrenaline for hours after a performance. It was always his favorite part of being in One Direction, aside from working with his four best friends. The dull buzz in his bones made him forget about the intense anxiety that would inch its way into his mind. Over the years, it became a comfortable feeling, even though it was usually paired with poor sleep that night.  
Things have changed, though. After Zayn left, the hum in his limbs lessened. The shows were less exciting, and the fans noticed his absence as well. Leading up to the hiatus, the four of them put everything they had into the music, wanting to put out one more amazing album before their break. The fans made the album a success, cementing the promise that they would be back. Louis never thought that he might be the one to break that promise.  
When he got the phone call, he nearly lost his mind. He had been expecting it, of course. His mum had been sick for quite some time now. Even when he tried to pretend that it would never happen, he woke up each morning hoping that there wouldn't be bad news. He got the call from Dan, and nothing had hurt so much in his entire life. He had a couple songs in the works, but he couldn't think about the music anymore. He didn't think he would ever be able to perform again. His half-finished songs were thrown into his bedside drawer and were all but forgotten.  
It was Niall who eventually convinced him to accept Simon Cowell's offer of a tribute performance. "Just Hold On" had been released just one day after his mum had passed, and Niall knew that he needed a way to say goodbye.  
Stepping onto the X Factor stage after so long was like coming home. The crowd was more than generous with their applause, despite the obvious shaking in his voice throughout the performance. Liam said they were applauding his bravery. Louis said that was bullshit.  
Like I said, Louis was used to adrenaline. Tonight, however, was different. There was no buzz. Just a harsh ringing in his ears, and a migraine. He left the venue straight after showering back stage and saying hello to the boys, hoping to avoid any photographers. The car dropped him off in front of his house, and he forced himself to take an advil before laying on the couch and turning on a rerun of Homeland. He fell asleep before the title sequence ended.


	2. Saying Goodbye is the Hardest Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for reading! This is my very first story, and I'm so excited to get started on it! Any feedback is appreciated, but please be friendly!

Chapter 2

Louis woke up to 7 missed calls, and 2 texts. He looked at the clock at the top of his phone screen. 5:48am. Louis sighed.  
So much for a decent sleeping schedule.  
He ignores the calls. If it were important, they would have left a message. He opens up the first text from Liam.  
Proud of you, brother. Louis cracked a small smile at the message. Of all the boys, Liam has coddled him the most. He's always been that way. Taking care of everyone else before himself. Louis may be the oldest, but Liam is the big brother. He ignores the message, promising to text him back at a more reasonable hour.

The other message is from Harry, and he hesitates to open it. Their relationship is rocky to say the least. For the first few years after The X Factor they were inseparable, even living together for some time before the rumors started. Its not that Louis is exclusively straight, its just that Harry was the best friend he had ever had. It was impossible for Louis to think of him romantically. Those who believed they were secretly in a relationship didn't give up, and it didn't seem to bother Harry in the slightest. He always had the charming talent of not really giving a damn what people thought of him, while Louis was the exact opposite. Eventually Louis started to push his best friend away, and their management agreed that it was best for the future of the band. The two of them no longer did interviews together, nor were they seen together outside of work responsibilities. Five years later and they're basically strangers. Bonded together because of their remarkable journey with One Direction, but they've chosen to be just that: bandmates. He opens the text, secretly hoping that it doesn't demand a response. He doesn't really know how to talk to Harry anymore.

_You killed it tonight, Lou._   _If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask_. _-H_  And theres that nickname again. Lou. He feels his eyes well up. God, he would give anything to be Lou again. To be the funny, crazy kid that could make anyone smile. It was so easy back then. He had his mum, and a career that made him feel worth something. Look at him now, though. Alone. Or at least thats how he felt. He feels a familiar itching in the back of his mind, urging him to scratch at his wrist. Anything to distract him from all of the jumbled thoughts. Its been years since he's hurt himself though, since the lack of solos and obvious hatred from the media became overwhelming. Its better now, he thinks. Nobody will expect anything from him anymore.

The tears start streaming, and against his better judgement he messages Harry back.  
 _I don't think i want to be alone today. Come over later?_  Its stupid. He's probably still asleep and they haven't been alone properly in over two years, but harry has an uncanny ability to calm those around him. He could use that right now. He links his phone to the charger on his kitchen counter and grabs a glass of water. Wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve, he makes his way to his bedroom to find a change of clothes. He hasn't done the wash in a while, so he grabs a mostly clean adidas jumper, and a pair of sweats. Back in the living room he opens his curtains. The sun isn't quite up yet, but he can see the sky starting to light up a bit. It reminds him of the bands first overnight at the bungalow. It was actually quite awkward at first, but Niall broke out his guitar to fill the silence and before long they were talking like mates. They talked until the sun was starting to peek through the trees, and just like that, the five of them were the best of friends.

Louis was broken from his thoughts by the ping of his phone. Harry had texted back. Louis briefly wondered why he would be awake at such an early hour, before he remembered how much he loved sunrises.  
 _I'll be right over. -H_  
Louis thinks of arguing that its too early, but decides against it. He’ll take what he can get.

He sits for ten minutes, waiting for Harry and wondering if it will be uncomfortable. He can't imagine it would be, after all, they were close once. When Harry arrives, he opens the door and gives him a small smile. A genuine one.  
“Hi.”Louis nearly whispers. It still feels too early to speak at full volume.  
“Hi.”he says with his usual half grin. Harry looked tired. His hair, shorter than its been in a long time, was tucked under a grey beanie. He wore a dark green jumper, and some black skinny jeans. Louis has always been jealous that the other boys could make something so casual look good.  
“Thanks for coming over, Im sorry i texted so early.” he apologizes.  
“No worries, I'm glad you did.” Harry replies.”Couldn't sleep.” he adds.  
They sit on the couch and they look at each other for a few minutes, neither one of them wanting to be the one to break the silence. Harry eventually cracks, however hesitantly.  
“ How are you feeling?” he asks.  
The question is casual enough, but Louis knows that Harry won't be satisfied with a half-assed answer. He knows Louis asked him over for a reason. They're going to have one of their talks. When they lived together, they used to lay in bed with F.R.I.E.N.D.S on in the background. When louis would miss his family or Harry would feel like he's not good enough to be in the group, they would snuggle close and talk for hours until they felt better. Its different today, more serious maybe. Because Louis might be at the verge of a nervous breakdown, and Harry knows it. Theres no point in lying to someone as empathetic as Harry, he can see right through it.  
So Louis lets his guard down enough to test the waters, to see if the man next to him can still calm his nerves.  
“I’m okay.” He says. “Saying goodbye was the hard part, and I got through it.” he continued.  
Harry nodded, and Louis could see him calculating what to say next.  
“You did.” Harry said quietly. “You got through it beautifully.” he added.  
“It’s weird though.”Louis says, trying to change the subject to something less dangerous.  
Harry stares at him, waiting for him to continue.  
“You know, how much everything has changed in the past few years.” Louis says, trailing off.  
“Yeah, with Zayn and the hiatus,” Harry says before being interrupted but Louis.  
“And us.” Louis adds, regretting it immediately.  
“Do you really want to talk about that now?” asks Harry.  
And Louis knows that they should talk about it, that they should talk about a lot of things. But Louis needs to talk about his mum. For both of them. He knows that Harry loved her almost as much as he loves his own mum.  
“No, not really. Im sorry, I just..” he trails off.  
“You miss her.” Harry says bluntly.  
And damn, okay. Guess they’re getting straight to the point then.  
“Yeah, more than I ever thought I could miss someone.” Louis responds, finally letting himself be completely honest.  
“I think she was with you tonight.” Harry says. Louis looks into his eyes for the first time since they sat down. He looks like he might cry, but theres also something else. Pride, maybe? A lot of people have said they're proud of Louis in the past few days. For some reason, if Harry were proud it would mean a lot more to him.  
“I don't think she was.” Louis admits, and his eyes feel wet.  
“How come?” Harry wonders aloud  
“Because when she's with me, I feel stronger.” Louis says, not looking away.  
“You don't feel strong?” he asks.  
“No.” Louis whispers. “ I’ve never felt so weak in my entire life.”  
And the tears start to fall uncontrollably now. Harry pulls him to his chest and hugs him tightly, rubs his back like he knows Louis used to like. Louis wants to apologize, for staining Harry’s jumper with his tears and gripping his arm so tightly it must hurt. Before he can get a word out, Harry takes a shaky breath and speaks.  
“Simon was right, you know.” he whispers. “Your mum would be so proud of you.”

And just for a moment, he feels like Lou again.


End file.
